A Mother Cries And God Speaks
I have been a Christian for a good number of years and because of my familiarity with God, I can find myself taking the miraculous in my life for granted. I forget, at times, what life was like before Jesus; and the wonder of peace with God becomes familiar and even mundane. Instead of rejoicing as I did in the beginning when all things of God were new to me, I mumble to myself over the sin of others whom I love and pout because God has not yet brought them to faith in Christ. I have been praying for my children for so many years and am often discouraged when I see no result. Thinking along this vein can fill me with false hopelessness for them as they have backsliden in their faith and so much time has passed that I no longer know for certain if they are backsliden or lost. I know that the hopelessness I feel is false because there is hope for all in Christ. I know it but I don't quite believe it. Sometimes, my spiritual immaturity shows itself as I begin to walk by sight rather than living by faith. At these times,I behave as a spoiled child who has no appreciation for all that my Father has done for me. Promises as to my future seem too far away to really matter or trust. I want what I want now! As a petulant child, I complain to my Father that the Kingdom can't be heaven if my children aren't included there.
When I begin to wax unfaithful, God rescues me through His own faithfulness. Gently He speaks to me, in a small still voice that reverberates His Power within me; and as I am restored to walking according to the Spirit, I remember that I am a soul that belongs wholly to God. Once, I was a slave to my own sinful desires and further even from God than my children who I cry for and pray for now. I who once served my father, the devil, am now a servant of the Living God! I did not grow up in a Christian home and I did not go to church or know Christian people; yet, God had mercy upon me and simply reached down and saved me from my sin. He quickened my spirit and I who had been dead to God was made alive to Him, in an instant, when Jesus showed Himself to me and began also to live in me, by faith. No matter how I have failed Him since that day, or any calamities I've suffered, or the pain and discouragement visited upon me through the sins of others, nothing has been able to separate me from Jesus or remove me from the Hand of my Father. Jesus, my Lord and my Savior, is the Lord of the living and the dead as He suffered and died upon the cross and then rose to life again. There is hope for all in Him. There is nothing and no one outside the scope of His Power. If Jesus saved me, He can save anyone.
I found myself in such a doubtful state only a few days ago. It is a besetting sin I have, falling into feelings of hopelessness and failure concerning my children who have strayed far from God. This time, God not only spoke to me and encouraged me through the Holy Spirit by reminding me of what He has done in my life, but also confirmed His promises to me in His written Word. Promises that I did not know the extent of in all my decades as a believer. The words of the Bible that have instructed and comforted believers for centuries spoke to me as if written personally for me. In fact, they were written personally for me as God knows beforhand all that will trouble me in this life.
Isaiah 54:8-17
With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you."
Says the LORD, your Redeemer.
"For this is like the waters of Noah to Me;
For as I have sworn That the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth,
So have I sworn That I would not be angry with you,
nor rebuke you. For the mountains shall depart And the hills be removed,
But my kindness shall not depart from you.
Nor shall my covenant of peace be removed,"
Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.
"O you afflicted one, Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
All your children shall be taught by the LORD,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
In righteousness you shall be established;
You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
And from terror, for it shall not come near you.
Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me.
Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake.
Behold, I have created the blacksmith
Who blows the coals in the fire,
Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
And their righteousness is from Me." Says the LORD.
The passage above left me humbled and amazed at God's love for me. He has promised to teach my children directly and I need not fear for them but instead, surrender them completely to Him. The peace of God fills me anew and the dark and doubtful places that remained in me have been won as I realize the extent of God's peace in my life and the mercy and the promise it contains. There is no better place for me to leave my children than in His hands. I have nothing to fear for me or for my children for God will not allow Satan to have victory in any area of my life. God has said it and I believe it. I will no longer doubt and worry. I will completely trust Him with those who I love most in this life.
Overwhelmed and with my cup overflowing, I read on. As I read, God removed any room for further or future doubt as I read of His promise not only to me but also to my children who years ago, were discouraged in their faith.
Isaiah 57:15-18
For thus says the High and Lofty One
Who inhabits eternity,
Whose name is Holy:
"I dwell in the high and holy place,
With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble,
And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
For I will not contend forever,
Nor will I always be angry;
For the spirit would fail before Me,
And the souls which I have made.
For the iniquity of his covetousness
I was angry and struck him;
I hid and was angry,
And he went on backsliding in the way of his heart.
I have seen his ways, and will heal him;
I will also lead him,
And restore comforts to him
And to his mourners.
I have been like Rachel weeping inconsolably for my children for many years. I am weeping no more. God has promised me that my children will return from the land of the enemy where they have been held captive. God has promised and I believe Him for He has never let me down and through His Son, He speaks directly to me. He reassures me and nourishes me with His Word. I know that Satan wants my children and that he is angry because he knows his time is short; but I will no longer fear him or cry out in doubt and torment for nothing can disassemble the promises of God.
When I begin to wax unfaithful, God rescues me through His own faithfulness. Gently He speaks to me, in a small still voice that reverberates His Power within me; and as I am restored to walking according to the Spirit, I remember that I am a soul that belongs wholly to God. Once, I was a slave to my own sinful desires and further even from God than my children who I cry for and pray for now. I who once served my father, the devil, am now a servant of the Living God! I did not grow up in a Christian home and I did not go to church or know Christian people; yet, God had mercy upon me and simply reached down and saved me from my sin. He quickened my spirit and I who had been dead to God was made alive to Him, in an instant, when Jesus showed Himself to me and began also to live in me, by faith. No matter how I have failed Him since that day, or any calamities I've suffered, or the pain and discouragement visited upon me through the sins of others, nothing has been able to separate me from Jesus or remove me from the Hand of my Father. Jesus, my Lord and my Savior, is the Lord of the living and the dead as He suffered and died upon the cross and then rose to life again. There is hope for all in Him. There is nothing and no one outside the scope of His Power. If Jesus saved me, He can save anyone.
I found myself in such a doubtful state only a few days ago. It is a besetting sin I have, falling into feelings of hopelessness and failure concerning my children who have strayed far from God. This time, God not only spoke to me and encouraged me through the Holy Spirit by reminding me of what He has done in my life, but also confirmed His promises to me in His written Word. Promises that I did not know the extent of in all my decades as a believer. The words of the Bible that have instructed and comforted believers for centuries spoke to me as if written personally for me. In fact, they were written personally for me as God knows beforhand all that will trouble me in this life.
Isaiah 54:8-17
With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you."
Says the LORD, your Redeemer.
"For this is like the waters of Noah to Me;
For as I have sworn That the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth,
So have I sworn That I would not be angry with you,
nor rebuke you. For the mountains shall depart And the hills be removed,
But my kindness shall not depart from you.
Nor shall my covenant of peace be removed,"
Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.
"O you afflicted one, Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
All your children shall be taught by the LORD,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
In righteousness you shall be established;
You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
And from terror, for it shall not come near you.
Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me.
Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake.
Behold, I have created the blacksmith
Who blows the coals in the fire,
Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
And their righteousness is from Me." Says the LORD.
The passage above left me humbled and amazed at God's love for me. He has promised to teach my children directly and I need not fear for them but instead, surrender them completely to Him. The peace of God fills me anew and the dark and doubtful places that remained in me have been won as I realize the extent of God's peace in my life and the mercy and the promise it contains. There is no better place for me to leave my children than in His hands. I have nothing to fear for me or for my children for God will not allow Satan to have victory in any area of my life. God has said it and I believe it. I will no longer doubt and worry. I will completely trust Him with those who I love most in this life.
Overwhelmed and with my cup overflowing, I read on. As I read, God removed any room for further or future doubt as I read of His promise not only to me but also to my children who years ago, were discouraged in their faith.
Isaiah 57:15-18
For thus says the High and Lofty One
Who inhabits eternity,
Whose name is Holy:
"I dwell in the high and holy place,
With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble,
And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
For I will not contend forever,
Nor will I always be angry;
For the spirit would fail before Me,
And the souls which I have made.
For the iniquity of his covetousness
I was angry and struck him;
I hid and was angry,
And he went on backsliding in the way of his heart.
I have seen his ways, and will heal him;
I will also lead him,
And restore comforts to him
And to his mourners.
I have been like Rachel weeping inconsolably for my children for many years. I am weeping no more. God has promised me that my children will return from the land of the enemy where they have been held captive. God has promised and I believe Him for He has never let me down and through His Son, He speaks directly to me. He reassures me and nourishes me with His Word. I know that Satan wants my children and that he is angry because he knows his time is short; but I will no longer fear him or cry out in doubt and torment for nothing can disassemble the promises of God.
9 Comments:
Hey Burning,
Just thought of you and stopped by to say hi. I like your comics. Reminds me of where I am right now. Dropping out of seminary. No direction. Is God really there? Or is he just the bright side of my despair? Mystery, hiddenness, silence -- these pummel me daily, and the former fuel for my faith, desperation, has shown its own face. Is God there? In the quiet moments, I think yes, but when I spoke of my need for God, I spoke of my own need and pain, and the world around me threatened at every turn to pull me from my self-enclosure where my longing was nursed. I stifled my own capacity for compassion by clinging to my desperation! And this thought: I withhold bread from the starving, so much bread, though I am poor. I have my indulgences... nice food, A/C, entertainment, etc. A passive violence.
I'm being stripped to bones! But... *sigh*... we're still alive, right? A paradox: because I love my life, I seek faith; and this faith tells me to bleed and die for someone else.
Jathan
Hi Jathan,
I'm not BB and I hope you don't mind me butting in. If so, just ignore me.
Jesus bled and died for us all. However, He didn't ever say that He came to give Himself completely away to us. He came to do the Father's Will and we are served by His faithfulness to His Father. I don't think you are required to bleed and die for anyone because Jesus already did. I know that if you are in Christ, whether you leave seminary or not, that you also are to do your Father's Will. His Will is always the perfect place for us. Faith in Christ is not fueled by desperation or by any human need or emotion. Faith doesn't come from us, it is a gift from God. Faith doesn't depend upon what we do but upon what He is doing in our lives. You may feel you have no direction but God has direction for you in the plan He has laid out for your life. There is nothing to do really but to trust and live out that life as it unfolds before you each day.
I write this assuming that you are a believer. If you are in Christ and He is in you then you are set for life as any wrong choice you make will be worked together with the good for your ultimate good. Nothing in this world will be able to separate you from the love of God. This is not a religion which requires much of its adherants if they are ever to obtain holiness. This is a relationship and the more of yourself you invest in it the better it becomes but God loves you simply because you are His in Christ and there is nothing required to earn that love.
If you don't have this faith I am speaking of there is still nothing you can do by your own effort to obtain it. Simply pray to God and ask that His Holy Spirit should draw you to Him and that Jesus be revealed to you. When you pray, don't pray the words I have written here but with your own words from your own heart. Trust God and all will be well with your soul.
Jathan ...
When I read your words I say to myself, "Here is someone I can identify with ... someone who understands despair and the tyranny of it!" More empty than a man locking himself in his enjoyments is the emptiness of locking his convictions inside of him. I cannot tell you what matters to you, only that you will not find happiness until those values see the light of day.
Praise God for your concern for the poor. How rare to find this concern among men ... one would do well to remember the words of our Lord -that someone who offers just a small glass of water to a child in His name will surely not lose his reward. The importance is not the quantity of it ... God could end world hunger in an instant. The smallest act of kindness is greater than all human philanthropy. May those who are accomodated avoid trusting in their accomodations, but in the God who has richly accomodated His people with every good gift.
The faith God has revealed to men instructs them with the task of taking up their own cross and denying their selves. This is true! And those who sow generously also shall reap generously. Remember also, that God does not delight in your sacrifice but in your mercy, your faith, and your intimacy with Him. If you have that, then these pursuits (how empty they are on their own!) will be blessings to you.
How have things been with Elizabeth? (That is your wife's name isn't it?) I am sorry to hear about seminary, although maybe dropping out was ... a good thing? I have often wondered how you are doing. If you ever want to send me an email sometime (even if you just want someone to pray with you about something) it's: burning@meredevotion.com
Jathan, my prayer for you is that -no matter how outrageous or heretical or egotistical it may seem- you remember God's love in the fullness of its depth for you personally. And stay genuine and open with yourself about where you are. It is such a delight to hear from the voice of a human being and not a facade.
Hi all,
There are many days when I wonder if all of this is true? Is there really a God? Noah - Ark? Jonah - whale? Jesus - crucified & resurrected? Is this really possible? Some day will this all be found as one big joke? Am I missing out on all the fun of the wolrd?
But, I realize I have too much faith to not believe.
As I look around I know there must have been a divine hand invloved to create this universe. I am no scientist, but the world was designed so perfectly. The earth's perfect distance from the sun; so, we aren't instantly incinerated, and the perfect pull of gravity allowing us to navigate the earth without floating into space or being crushed. It is no accident that I am able to breath in oxygen generated by the foliage, and exhale poisonous gas, carbon monoxide, which the plants absorb to sustain life and produce more oxygen.
After reconvincing myself that God created this vast and magnificient universe, He surely cares for me, and has a purpose for my life. Then, I recall all the times I felt His presence when all I had left were tears and brokeness, then I cried out to Jesus, and His loving arms embraced me.
This is just one of my many struggles, but at the end of my fall are the loving arms of Jesus.
Amen, Jathan.
Hi Scot,
I spent about five years of my life heavily researching apologetics -mostly because I was afraid of my professors making me look like a fool. One day I found myself in the hospital not sure I would make it through the surgery (in human terms a VERY safe surgery), and I wanted to be convinced. Strobel and Josh McDowell couldn't lead me to any kind of meaningful certainty. Years later I discovered for myself that faith is an inner testimony that precedes all external evidence. If you're ever interested in reading more about the details of my story it's here. It was definitely something I had to "learn" on my own.
Blaise Pascal once noted that religious claims were not scientifically knowable. They are more of a gamble. If you lead someone to Christ based on human reasoning or archeological evidence, they will constantly search those things in case they made a mistake somewhere. True faith is not a "more than 50%" kind of thing. The Bible says it is certain.
Anyway, you seem like a thoughtful fellow. Thanks for stopping by again.
Hey Guys,
The Christian faith is like this, first you have to believe then everything falls into place. I agree with BB there is no argument for faith and it is not something that we can be debated into.
Thanks the_burning_bush and joyindestructible for your ingsight. Your words invoke deep thought and self-evaluation, which I need.
Sometimes I find myself becoming humble, only to be proud of being humble. Oh, God help me to focus on Your Son Jesus whose blood shed over 2000 yrs ago still washes hearts as white as snow. And help me love and be compassionate expecting nothing, no nothing in return. God I know, but I forget; it is You that changes hearts not me.
God is always faithful even when we are not. Amen!
Thanks and have a wonderful day in the Lord.
Scot,
We all struggle with our pride. We are in the most trouble when we stop struggling! Actually, we don't need to struggle either but simply be honest, give it up to God, and move forward.
May God bless your day as well, Scot.
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