Two Hearts And A Firey Tongue

We all speak from that which fills our hearts; and often, our hearts are not pure. It is easy to hurt one another with our words and we need to be mindful of what we say. Our words are capable of setting the whole world on fire. However, being mindful of our words does not cure the root problem, the sin nurtured within our own mind. Yet, some Christians cling to the notion that by their own mindfulness of words they can keep themselves from sinning by them. They learn to speak in opposition to how they feel and even teach their children to do the same. They speak words of love and devotion to God while in their hearts, they nurture vile hatred and even murder. By their own effort, they have given up on the sin of speaking evil and traded a wicked tongue for a double heart.

I have been a victim of double hearts. Too often, I have thought myself to be loved but later it was revealed that I was hated instead. How love sours when it is found to be pretense. That sour sickness is magnified many times when the love named as pretense is named as the love of God. It is enough to cause us to lose faith if that faith were dependent on us; but thanks be to God, nothing can separate us from the love of God, not even a doubled hearted Christian.

Psalm 12:1-8 Help, LORD, for the godly man ceases! For the faithful disappear from among the sons of men. They speak idly everyone with his neighbor. With flattering lips and a double heart they speak.

May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, And the tongue that speaks proud things, Who have said, "With our tongue we will prevail; Our lips are our own; Who is lord over us?

"For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, Now I will arise," says the LORD; "I will set him in the safety for which he yearns."

The words of the LORD are pure words, Like silver tried in a furnace of earth, Purified seven times. You shall keep them, O LORD, You shall preserve them from this generation forever.

The wicked prowl on every side, When vileness is exalted among the sons of men.

I am an open hearted person and often expression of that openness is in blunt truth. I never even think to say anything other than what I am thinking and even though it is truth, as I perceive it, my truth is not pure and my words cause damage. I am guilty of setting the world on fire with my tongue. I can choose not to speak but I am not capable of suppressing what is true and saying something else. I am helpless to this sin, apart from Jesus.

On the other hand, I know brothers and sisters who have spoken and acted in opposition to their true thoughts and feelings for so long that they truly can't express anything that comes from the core of themselves. They are the only ones who know the truth of their inner life. They exist within themselves until something from outside comes crashing in and their true thoughts and feelings are momentarily uncovered. Then the inner person emerges in contempt and self-defense, all of the 'wrong' feelings hidden behind an angelic smile rise with dank rancor. This person too is helpless to the sin they are predisposed to, apart from Jesus.

The natural response for each offender is to caste their shame upon the other and seek self-justification. The one lives by their own words justified as truth, while the other prides themselves on speaking words that cause no pain. To do so is to exalt that which is vile in the eyes of the Lord, making way for wickedness to abound on all sides.

The only hope for any sinner is Jesus and never in any of our words, whether they be blunt in truthfulness or sugary sweet and false. From our hearts we speak and the cure for every kind of sinner is a pure heart. Only Jesus can purify a heart and when His Words are spoken through that purified heart, all who are given ears to hear are blessed, nurtured, and healed.

May God make us mindful of our words and not of our words only, but also mindful of our hearts. May we be blunt and open toward God, hiding no ugly thought or feeling; but instead, surrendering them to Him to be purified as our hearts are also purified from sin.

Dearest Jesus, keep us humble before you and make us pure in God's eyes. Cause our tongues to speak not words of our own crafting or words of our own emotion but pure Words, the very Words of Life. Amen.

In The World

"I pray not that Thou shouldst take them out of the world."
John 17:15

It is a sweet and blessed event which will occur to all believers in God's own time -the going home to be with Jesus. In a few more years the Lord's soldiers, who are now fighting "the good fight of faith," will have done with conflict, and have entered into the joy of their Lord. But although Christ prays that His people may eventually be with Him where He is, He does not ask that they may be taken at once away from this world to heaven. He wishes them to stay here. Yet how frequently does the wearied pilgrim put up the prayer, "O that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away and be at rest;" but Christ does not pray like that, He leaves us in His Father's hands, until, like shocks of corn fully ripe, we shall each be gathered into our Master's garner. Jesus does not plead for our instant removal by death, for to abide in the flesh is needful for others if not profitable for ourselves. He asks that we may be kept from evil, but he never asks for us to be admitted to the inheritance in glory till we are of full age.

Christians often want to die when they have any trouble. Ask them why, and they tell you, "Because we would be with the Lord." We fear it is not so much because they are longing to be with the Lord, as because they desire to get rid of their troubles; else they would feel the same wish to die at other times when not under the pressure of trial. They want to go home, not so much for the Saviour's company, as to be at rest. Now it is quite right to desire to depart if we can do it in the same spirit that Paul did, because to be with Christ is far better, but the wish to escape from trouble is a selfish one. Rather let your care and wish be to glorify God by your life here as long as He pleases, even though it be in the midst of toil, and conflict, and suffering, and leave Him to say when "it is enough".

Spurgeon, Morning and Evening Devotions May 2nd (Morning)

Satan often tempts people to chase after their ideals restlessly. Those who listen to Satan are deceived (and indeed deceive themselves) into thinking there is some terrible aspect of their lives -if they just had something else, or if they could just be free of their lives- then all would be well. The most restless pursuit of anything is suicide.

Yet, to be with God in the next life is certainly something to long for. The martyrs of the faith have met their end hoping to be with God, and this is lovely and becoming of faith. The difference is that those who have faith are not trying to escape from anything. If a man truly possesses faith he will not restlessly wish to be somewhere else or someone else because he is at rest knowing it is fine and acceptable to leave his lot as God sees fit.

When Christ imparts life to those who call on him, he does not just give them an eternal life that begins after they die. The life Christ gives begins as soon as a man or a woman receives it. The life that comes from Christ is not a matter of resisting or finding death ... it is a matter of finding Christ. Those who know him in life will also know him in death.

Oppression

It is three a.m. I am suddenly wide awake. I have been roused by the moon; through the borrowed light that deceptively shines. The light that first appears to be as bright as day is merely a reflection of the true light of day. Soon this is made evident to me as all that is visible is reduced to shadow. Man and animal, friend and foe, are not discernible one from the other. They have been made equal in appearance by the deceiving glow.

Thinking the deep night to be morning, my thoughts and dreams begin to blend. Anxiety rises as all that I have forced to the back of my mind during the preceding days suddenly, comes to the forefront in its starkest reality. I cry out to God for my children and wonder, how long one can cry for their children? I have been crying out for them night and day for very many years. I beg God to bring them back to Him. I know they can never be safe unless they are in Him. Without Him, they remain captive to the enemy. Jesus is the only one who can make them free.

I rise with the sun and go about my day but the dark night hangs all about me still. This spiritually dark cloud that lingers and is not dispelled by the radiance of the sun. My spirit is heavy, weighed down, and afraid. By the power of my thoughts, night's dark wing is allowed to brush me and cut me with the invisible precision of paper. In my spirit, I am sliced from head to toe with hundreds of invisible cuts; and then they begin to bleed. The Life that is in me that I know to be the Holy Spirit of the Living God seems to be oozing out of me and leaving me. Deception fills my heart and mind as Satan rushes to fill the space that God's Spirit has left behind. He shines his false light into my mind just as the moon glows with light it borrows from the sun. This light he borrows from He who is the Light of the world; and twists it as if deflecting it with mirrors, deceiving me with hopeless thoughts.

As the day grows so does the intensity of my despair. Thoughts that blind me to reality. With my mind and heart in deepest gloom, I can't tell my friends from my enemies. With thinking deeply shadowed and muddied, I reach to embrace my friend and embrace instead, my enemy. I cry out in pain and fear and attack mistakenly, my friend. I cry, and cry until I can cry no more.

The heaviness of my spirit has fully enveloped me. As I lie upon my bed, I feel Satan pressing down hard upon me. He seeks to smother me and with glee, he whispers that I would be better off dead. He tells me that life is just too painful to bear. He reasons with me that my children are damned and will never return to God. They have no desire for Him he coldly states. He breaths hopelessness into me as I curl into a fetal ball longing for my mother's womb. As I curl ever tighter into myself, I am surprised to find Jesus there! Then I remember that Jesus lives in me, and I am in Him, and together we are in God. Satan has no hold over me and there is never hopelessness in God!

Suddenly, the Son rises in my heart and day begins to burn brightly again as in my joy, I cry simply, "Jesus!" At the sound of this Name, Satan has to flee and the inky black that gripped my spirit is dispelled. The bloodletting of Spirit is ended and the cuts left by night's dark wing begin to heal, as God's Spirit fills once again the empty space within me that Satan sought so hard to steal.

My joy I have found again and I am awed that it was truly never lost but only hidden. Jesus will never leave me even when I am deceived and blunder my way away from Him. Simply by whispering His Name, all spiritual oppression is lifted and hope for my children and indeed, all humankind is fully restored. This is so simple that I am most likely to forget it again and be roused once more to deception, by the one who desires to be in the place of the Most High. My flesh is weak but each time I falter, I am becoming sooner to remember the Name that fills my spirit with the power to walk according to the Spirit and not according to my flesh. I am ceasing to walk according to my weakness.

Spiritual oppression no longer has a lasting hold on me! All to the glory of, Jesus! Amen!

Interuption

Graduation Day








Episodes 1, 2, 3
Episodes 4, 5, 6
Episodes 7, 8, 9

Through Me To You

I am a woman of words. Thinking and speaking are hand in hand in me and my thoughts are not made solid until they are either spoken out loud or written on a page. The words I write come from a person that my friends and family know little of. The words I write come from a place too complicated for speech. The weaving of my inner reality is uncovered as I type revealing someone who is even a surprise to me most of the time. They pour from my heart in gentle waves and at other times, they crash and rage as a storming sea. I am a complicated woman and these words that I write are the relief valve that keeps the preasure of my inner turmoil steady and even. These are the words from my own psyche. Human words that entertain or educate; and work for good and for evil to all who may read them.

God has fashioned me as a woman of words. My passion and complexity, a part of His plan for me. How I have pleaded and yearned to be a quiet woman, a peaceful woman. How I have envied that gentle and quiet spirit that so many Christian woman seem to have. How I have struggled in my life with me and the pain my temperament brings down on me. I have cried out to God to change me! Change me! Change me! My Father quietly replies, "I have fashioned you to be who you are and not to be any other. The peace you desire comes only from me and it yours each time you write the words that are not your own but those that I lay upon your heart." These are the words that don't belong to me and words that don't come from my psyche but words that are blown into and through my heart. They are the words crafted from the pain of my sin and the glory of Jesus as He lives in me. They are the words that are like the continual prayers that mark the conversations with God, my Father, my Daddy that are mine through Jesus. These words that calm me, tether me, and change me as they gently fill me and quiet my spirit are the bread given me to also cast upon the water. These words that are of Jesus the Living Word are the bread that gives me life, eternal life, and can give life to an entire world. These words through me from God I cast upon the water to you.

A Sound Mind

The day has come for those with clear and straight-thinking clarity to present to us -to everyone who is ready to listen however great or common- a firm account of the exact difference between a sound mind and insanity.

The history of the word 'sane' is of no help to us. It derives from the Latin word for 'health', sanus. Mental health is too ellusive to derive from eating correctly, exercise, or getting enough sleep -the things we normally associate with health. The word 'sanity' has taken on a transfigured role in language to portray for us something for which we simply have no word. If we intend to understand sanity on the historical basis of its shaping through the years we shall fail.

And what of that German physicist who so generously left the high towers of science (and those who point at the height of those towers as a means of certainty and assurance) to offer us a definition of insanity? Should we say insanity is simply "Doing the same thing and expecting different results"?

Einstein, it will be remembered, was a genius in many affairs but he had his failures also. He failed to recognize the absurdity of quantum physics -what he called 'spooky action at a distance'. And, although the man seemed to be as sane as the next person (though who can say the next person is sane or even if sanity is common?), he failed to understand sanity in the same way.

If one is to know true human greatness -to not only recall it from stories of old but also to find it in one's own life alive and healthy- one must acknowledge the power of those who have failed, and failed, and failed still a hundred times more only to try once again and succeed.

The realm of science is a strapped-down world. We are told that if the conditions are in place and the controls are in order the same thing will always happen in the same way as a result of the same measures. The very thing science rules out as a complete and total rule is the Absurd.

Science can acknowledge that Joshua walked around the city of Jericho six times and nothing happened. It can acknowledge that the city stood or that it fell (for indeed it can be verified that cities have fallen and stood many times throughout history). What science cannot accept is that the seventh time the walls which had stood six times collapsed on the seventh.

And yet Einstein is remembered for his words about sanity. After all, there is something sound about them -something which even the most studied critic can accept about them. Einstein places the focus of his words on the expectation of those who act.

Now, it must be noted, that the common man has some notion of general relativity since people have become more educated (although perhaps they have also become more insane). The common man has also contended with his expectations and putting them into action -something simple and often overlooked by those who write in science journals.

There is something hard to bear about laboring to achieve something one never expects to have. The story of Pandora was told by the Greeks with dreadful tones -not in spite of the hope at the end, but because of it. The ancient Greeks, like Einstein, wanted nothing to do with a hope that outlasted tragedy and misfortune. They considered it more sound to strive thinking their efforts would come to nothing, and for this reason the Greeks loved their tragic heroes who worked hard, who perservered, who gambled their life in a few undertakings, and lost everything.

Perhaps the greatest hero in antiquity, Achilles, is best remembered for sulking among the ships of the Achaians after he gave his captured woman Brisies away to king Agammemnon. The Greeks listened to bards like Homer and thought, 'Yes, that's exactly how it should be! That's how life is!'

This is exactly the perverseness of the world we live in. When a child hopes to receive a bicycle for his birthday and instead receives a sweater he is not only sad but also ashamed for having hoped for the bicycle. We remember the stories of failed marriages because we wish to justify ourselves for not having believed in something as serious and wonderful as marriage. When we are punished for a wrong-doing we expect only hell for the disappointment of losing heaven.

If I could dare to offer a definition in words for the kind of sanity and sound mind which cannot be organized or formulated into words, I would venture to say it is having a clear picture of exactly the things or thing which one values most and believing that they can have it.

For reasons that hardly need to be said, this kind of sanity may be too daring. For every angel that whispers into a young man's ears: 'You can surely find an honest vocation and live an honest life' There is an unclean angel who whispers: 'Do you want to hope for the heights only to be sent to the depths? Take what you can get because only the cheaters and hopeless get anything in this life.'

Healthy thinking is a daunting path. It is far, far easier to believe that salvation is too inaccessible for us and so we must confine our expectations to half-salvations and hopelessness. In the end it has nothing to do with the intelligence of our minds which makes us sane, but our daring to believe and accept good things.

There is also a kind of half-sanity. A voice which says, 'I do not believe a good thing will happen to me, but if -in my doubting- something good does happen to me, it will be just as well as if I had expected it.' If a man listens to this voice too long, it will become his voice.

But however true the voice may sound it is wholly a lie.

This is a voice that points its bitter finger against God and accuses Him of injustice as a way of condescending God into handing something over. But God does not give into the demands of those who take hostages, even if such a man has taken his own mind hostage.

The child who clearly recognizes his dreams and secures a false contendedness -a contendedness which says he shall never meet his dream- is a child who carries with him a heavy burdern. This is why the wise Solomon warned that a hope deferred makes the heart sick.

In the same way a mind that no longer expects to find what it truly desires is an unhealthy mind, and when the health of such a mind becomes completely unhealthy it is insanus, or insane. With the death of the spirit, the mind is also dead even if it goes on thinking.

If a person is to accept this view of sanity, they must also accept that a healthy mind is not too far from them. The alternative is mentally unbearable.

So let us dare to believe that good will be extended to us and not evil. Let us dare to believe that what is ours may be healthy, and that what is sick may be healed. Let us expect to see good things in our own lives and in the lives of our neighbors. And let us rejoice in the good gifts we receive.

Five Failed Paths To Meaning

One of my old Bible professors posted an excellent article on how not to find meaning in life. Call it what you want, but it is definitely not 'more of the same'.

The post is brief and amazing. I recommend checking it out!

By the way, he's not that old.

The big trap for most people is definetly path number three: Huddle For Warmth.

I think I understand him on the small things (number five). In one sense God has chosen the small things to shame the big things. What I believe he's getting at is how people look so much at the small details (like picking the right mortgage and getting to the gym enough) that they never see the things that actually matter to them.

Also, I'm not sure about his note that 'meaning is something that needs to be received', it's something that I've been tossing around in my brain.

Anyway, it's a great post and I recommend it strongly.

Dreams And Fantasy

Episodes 7, 8, 9 ...








Episodes 1, 2, 3
Episodes 4, 5, 6