Bertrand Russell on Confidence and Evidence

Bertrand Russell was a philosopher, logician, and mathematician.

I want to consider two quotes attributed to him. The purpose is to identify the voice of devotion, especially as it relates to the words of men who ask to be taken seriously.

Bertrand Russell was asked what he would say to God after he died. The question was something along the lines of, "Why didn't you believe in me?"

And Bertrand Russell responded:

"Not enough evidence, God. Not enough evidence."

In my opinion Bertrand Russell was making a very strong equivocation ... one so common that it is hardly noticable in our world today. When Bertrand Russell said "evidence" what he really meant was "external evidence".

If he would have responded more clearly, I could easily picture God asking, "Did you want to believe I was here, Bertrand? That I was right here around you all along?"

But of course, this question is totally irrelevant and biased in the mind of a mathematician or philosopher.

Suppose the question is asked, "Does 1 / x converge as x approaches infinity?". To a mathematician it may be of some significance to ask if "he thinks" it converges. Intuitions are occasionally valuable to mathematicians. To ask if "he wants" it to converge is outright heresy.

As Soren Kierkegaard is quick to point out in Philosophical Fragments a mathematician can say 'true' things all the time about formulas - by definition their truth has nothing to do with the mathematician.

But falling in love is totally different.

If you approach a man and ask, "Do you, sir, love this woman?" An analytical philosopher or mathematician might start out saying, "Well, the nature of women ..." Or "The essence of love is ...". But the question, "Do you, sir, love this woman?" Is not a question about the nature or attributes of women or love.

The question is about something inside the man. Isn't the question about believing to God identical to the love question?

Blaise Pascal -a mathematician himself- once noted that a convert who became a Christian on the basis of classical proofs was likely to be enthusiastic at first but soon to start checking and rechecking his logic. He concluded such a basis was often shaky at best.

And this brings us to the next quote from Bertrand Russell:

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

Bertrand Russell's observation lends itself to the age-old paradox that fools fall in love while the shrewd and crafty often become worse than criminals.

Why are the intelligent so full of doubt? Perhaps because they have so many ideas that as soon as they accept a view, a new idea comes along and pulls them in a different direction.

Why are the fools so confident? Perhaps because there is little to distract them from considering primarily what they want.

In some ways this latter quote is a sad reflection on who Bertrand Russell was. He was in some sense an intelligent man full of doubt. Perhaps his intelligence afforded him many things, but it could not -by his own admission- give him the clarity of a fool.

Jesus praised God because He had hidden His good things from the wise and learned and revealed them to little children. Children don't need college degrees to "find out" if they love their parents.

Devotionally speaking, a person need not consult with philosophers and mathematicians to discover what his longings are: the true priorities deep inside him.

This is the evidence God wants us to find, and the only evidence which demands a verdict.

The Vestal Virgins

Check out the wikipedia article on the Vestal Virgins for an interesting read.

I've often wondered how seriously the Greeks and Romans took their religious lives. They certainly had extensive mythologies, ceremonious feasts, and armies of priests and priestesses.

The cult of Vesta was a curious group among the many Roman religious societies. The Vestal virgins were a group of women hand-picked as girls to serve in the temple of Vesta. Their main job was to keep the fire of Vesta burning. Other duties included keeping track of wills and testimonies.

The virgins also had some unusual privileges. Whenever they attended a public ceremony they traveled in a covered two-wheel carriage. They were preceded by a special government official who ensured they had the right of way.

They could free criminals by touching them. Their testimony was considered unassailable, so they were not sworn in for court cases. Unlike all other Roman women they were free to make a will, vote, and acquire property. The penalty for injuring one of them was death.

Historians note the Roman religious culture was rich in pageantry. Everything was done in a very showy way. If there was any kind of public perception that a Vestal virgin had not lived a perfectly chaste life, she was immediately executed. The wikipedia article states: "The method by which it was established that a Vestal had committed an offense would be considered uncivilized by today's standards."

I wonder if this in some way demonstrates the true nature of Roman religion: when the public disapproved it no longer carried any meaning.

The lifestyle of the Vestal virgin reminds me in some ways of the pomp and role-playing among the Pharisees during Jesus' day. The religious leaders loved the seats of honor at banquets, longed to be addressed by titles, and wore their religious vestiments in such a way as to attract as much attention as possible.

But Jesus commanded his disciples not to call one another "teacher" or "father". And he commanded them not to pray loudly in the streets for people to hear, but to pray privately. And he told them to obey the religious leaders, but not to become like them because they did not practice what they preached.

Jesus also said his disciples were not to be like the pagans who lord power over one another. He insisted the greatest person in his kingdom would be the one who made himself the servant of all.

Perhaps Jesus was contrasting his kingdom to the Roman religious cults.

All speculating aside, the historical difference between paganism and Christianity was inwardness. The early Christians maintained their faith against brutal public opposition while the pagans contended vigorously for public praise.

If the Vestal virgins were publicly opposed, I doubt they would have stayed committed for long ... a Danish writer once suggested that the power of the pagan gods came from those who practiced their rituals and rites. But in Christianity the opposite is true: the disciples of Christ are empowered from Christ.

Unfortunately the pagans of Rome considered the public prominence of their gods to be the greatest matter at hand. Christianity, on the other hand considers the inward prominence of obedience to be the greatest matter at hand.

Peter's Firm Call To Be Prepared

2 Peter 3 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. Peter has an excellent way of writing about the things we take for granted. He is also not afraid of peering into those things we often overlook. Carefully consider the priorities of the passage, and their relevance to you.

Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.

First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, "Where is this 'coming' he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation." But they delibterately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men.

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

But the day of the Lord wil come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.

Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.

So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.

Therefore, dear friends, since you already know this, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

2 Peter 3

My God, My Tourniquet

I recently received the Evanescence Fallen album for my birthday. The mood of the songs are the strongest I have ever heard. Amy Lee has developed a tremendous ability to portray intense spiritual struggles.

Consider the lyrics to her song "Tourniquet". The words of the song present a spirit in serious self-examination. The song is in some ways like a dark hymn. It could almost be sung by a Moravian or perhaps a Baptist congregation.

The voice is edgy like a person standing on top of a building looking down. Whereas most people have one foot in 'despair comforted by distraction' and 'committed love and devotion', this voice is ready to go all the way -but it has yet to decide which direction to take.

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?

Most people who call themselves Christians believe God has saved them from their sin. Or Adam's sin. Or the doctrine of sin. "Well, that good man has saved someone from something...". Finding a person who confesses they were lost is not easy. I hear so few testimonies these days to say as much.

But here is the voice of someone asking, "Am I too lost to be saved?". And so everything is on the table -the confession is full-blown, and the stakes are infinite.

The singer is strangely present to herself. She isn't saying highly, "One day I'll do such and such and become this and associate with these people ...". She isn't saying, "I was once this person ...". She is saying, "This is me ... this is who I am! Aaah!".

Do you remember me ?
Lost for so long.
Will you be on the other side ?
Will you forgive me ?

This is not a voice that says smugly like so many, "Of course God could forgive me." This voice has trouble accepting that God has forgiven her. This promise of God is not like a forgone conclusion to her, but a profound mystery.

It is something incomprehensible to her.

If I had to choose between listening to a theologian who could describe forgiveness in the blaise terms of systematic theology and listening to an alternative rocker describe something unexplainable, indescribable, and mysterious -I would gladly choose the later.

When I turn up the volume of the music and let the words drown out the world around me it seems perfectly clear to me that this is the question that is extended to me -and to all of us. When one has examined the depths of the evil in ones heart, does one believe they will find God on the other side of death?

My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries, for deliverance.
Will I be denied ?
Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide.

I admit I struggle with the last two words. The tourniquet metaphor gives me the image of something painful that brings healing. In what way does healing produce (or require) suicide?

Is the singer so deceived as to see suicide as a rescue from the anguish of her soul? As she struggles to confront the supreme chill of eternity, does she think that in death the eternal part of her -judging and evaluating her actions- will somehow go away? Is she deliberately forgetting that eternity goes on and is only transfigured by mortal death?

I am not sure.

Or is it that the tourniquet -the painful healing of God she asks herself about- demands for her to die away from everything in order to find the life God has in store for her? Is she looking decisively at her cross and saying, "I am taking this up!"?

Hard to say. It is as Paul says: we cannot know the thoughts of another. We only see glimpses. The rest is often a reflection of who we are.

I have never heard a voice with the gravity of Amy Lee. It expresses profound sorrow and yet is never willing to abandon hope. It longs to believe God is watching and He has not given up on her.

Isn't she a lot like you and me?

I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(So much more)
I'm dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

Do you remember me ?
Lost for so long.
Will you be on the other side ?
Will you forgive me ?

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.

Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?

My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

(Return to me salvation)
(I want to die!)

My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries, for deliverance.
Will I be denied ?
Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide.

A Guide To Lawn Decoration

Northern Indiana has a large, thriving deer population. Often people here see so many deer they are surprised to learn there are places where deer are hunted: "You hunt deer in California? We hit them with our cars over here!".

Anyway, my family liked to watch for deer while on the road when I was a child.

One day while traveling east to Kokomo, my mom spotted two deer within a house's frontyard. The deer were not real, they were some kind of lawn ornament. My mom remarked that it seemed strange to buy lawn ornaments and then put them in hard-to-see places. My dad responded by saying the best place to put those deer is in a place where the eye finds them only by accident.

I didn't quite understand my father that day. My taste in esthetics was about as sharp as keeping my crayons inside the lines.

Looking back on my father's suggestion I understand what he was saying. If the deer were in the middle of the yard, we'd all seem them right away, and it wouldn't look real or pleasant to the eye. In fact it would look pretty tacky.

Devotion is similar. In the initial stages it is like a secret that one keeps in ones heart, yet the one who has it longs to share it with his beloved.

Jesus and Paul both note that no one has seen God. This inconspicuous preference of God is perhaps one of the most conspicuous ascpects of life.

If God wants us to know Him so much, why doesn't he just write across the sky: "I am God. Get to know me!". Athiests are constantly asking this question. And here the advantage and disadvantage of athiesm speaks clearly.

"If God exists," the athiest claims, "And He wants people to know him, why doesn't he become like the lawn ornament in the middle of the yard where everyone can see and recognize Him at once?" The advantage of this view is that there is no mystery, but this is also the disadvantage of the view.

Using some decorative extrapolation, I have determined the athiest approach to lawn decoration: bright, neon-pink flamingos. Large inflatable gnomes. Maybe some card-board cutouts of famous celebrities like Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow. I suppose there could be some lighted signs, and -oh wait- I'm thinking of Las Vegas now. Wouldn't it be neat to have a lawn like Las Vegas?

Let's just say my lawn is never going to look like Las Vegas.

Having reviewed God's style and the way it relates to lawn decoration, let us consider what it would be like to live a life as someone who has been transformed by the power of God's style. Consider this passage from Isaiah:

Here is my servant whom I have chosen,
the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he leads justice to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope.

The style of the writer is a bit unusual here. This servant is 'proclaiming' something in a way that seems to be especially strong. Yet at the same time his voice will not be heard in the streets.

"Everyone who seeks finds, everyone who asks is given, and everyone who knocks will have the door opened for him."

When a person has mastered the arts of style and good taste they are commonly referred to as "cultivated". Good esthetics appeal to the preferences of our eyes, yet this talent takes a great deal of training and dedication.

So too, in the life of devotion, a person who claims to love must not base his commitment on the loud, showy things he sees happening. He must learn to see with new eyes. To hear with new ears. He must be aware also of his strongest inner longings, and not simply the ones passing quickly on the surface.