Liking Or Loving
Smitty asked an important question on her blog:
This question has been with me long after I have shut off my computer and gone to bed. At times, when my mind has wandered down an avenue of interest I have almost been tempted to look over my shoulder as if to find that it has snuck up on me again.
Something about the question lingers with me, and within me.
At times I have encountered the question at church while singing worship songs. My mouth has no problem getting the words out. It basically runs on auto-pilot.
Sometimes I even think to myself, 'Well, it was very nice of God to do that ...'. And then -somewhere in the back of my mind- it's like this voice is asking me, "Is there a difference between liking God and loving Him?".
The question, I believe, is demanding. And difficult.
Consider the cause of the young woman who has been seeing someone for a year or so. She can tell he likes her lips. Her figure. The way she talks. And she can tell he likes her company. But the essential question is still very open ...
Is he serious ... or ... is he merely toying with appearances?
One can say many things of esthetics. One can talk about the way the hair falls, the timing and pronunciation of certain words, the quiet and brief way she may place her hands on his shoulders.
And one can wonder about esthetics without ever recalling that one, in fact, exists and wonders about esthetics.
But there are very few things to be said about seriousness. One either holds the lightning to reign over the possibilities of their life or one does not.
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."
To like is to offer a distant approval. An approval is a gesture which (simultaneously!) conveys acceptance ... agreement ... consent ... yet it holds back.
When Jesus asked Peter if Peter loved Jesus, Peter replied that he liked Jesus. How human! How just like us all!
We all wish to love, for love (and seriousness) is indeed one and only one thing. When anyone loves, they have made a commitment.
But it is much easier to live in the realm of possibility. It is easier for a man to dream of the way he will spend of his money than to actually part with the cash. It is easier to think about helping starving people than to feed the starving. It is easier to envision oneself fighting a nation's enemies abroad than it is to enlist in the military.
In a way, Jesus asks everyone the same question smitty asked. But he looks for the reply not so much in words as he does in the way a person chooses to live.
After Peter professed his regard for his master, Jesus commanded him to feed his sheep. The choice entailed an action. Certainly the action and the choice were not the same thing. Not everyone who feeds the poor has understood love. And some people truly cary a love for Christ, but it is so buried inside them that it never surfaces into their actions.
Yet, in the life of the devoted, the love and the response are intimately united. The love we have for Christ demands that we love our neighbor, that we love the lowest sinners (whether they are others or ourselves). And this is the very thing men dread when choosing between loving and liking.
An Actual Self
The question about the difference between loving and liking is like the question about the difference between actuality and possibility.
A man who likes a woman entertains a possibility, while a man who loves a woman has something very actual. Even if the woman rejects him all her life he has a very real thing: his love for her.
Of course, our choices say a lot about who we are as well.
If a man lives for the 'chance' things in life, the possibilities, making them his only thought rising out of bed and going to sleep, and waiting for them to give him validity in life, then, in a spiritual sense, the man's life is a possibility. And if his life is a possibility he is not yet alive.
If a man lives for something actual, that is to say, if he actually knows what is important to him and actually seeks to pursue it, then, in a spiritual sense, that man's life is an actuality. And if his life is an actuality he is truly alive.
What is the difference between loving God and liking God?
Is there any difference at all?
This question has been with me long after I have shut off my computer and gone to bed. At times, when my mind has wandered down an avenue of interest I have almost been tempted to look over my shoulder as if to find that it has snuck up on me again.
Something about the question lingers with me, and within me.
At times I have encountered the question at church while singing worship songs. My mouth has no problem getting the words out. It basically runs on auto-pilot.
Sometimes I even think to myself, 'Well, it was very nice of God to do that ...'. And then -somewhere in the back of my mind- it's like this voice is asking me, "Is there a difference between liking God and loving Him?".
The question, I believe, is demanding. And difficult.
Consider the cause of the young woman who has been seeing someone for a year or so. She can tell he likes her lips. Her figure. The way she talks. And she can tell he likes her company. But the essential question is still very open ...
Is he serious ... or ... is he merely toying with appearances?
One can say many things of esthetics. One can talk about the way the hair falls, the timing and pronunciation of certain words, the quiet and brief way she may place her hands on his shoulders.
And one can wonder about esthetics without ever recalling that one, in fact, exists and wonders about esthetics.
But there are very few things to be said about seriousness. One either holds the lightning to reign over the possibilities of their life or one does not.
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."
To like is to offer a distant approval. An approval is a gesture which (simultaneously!) conveys acceptance ... agreement ... consent ... yet it holds back.
When Jesus asked Peter if Peter loved Jesus, Peter replied that he liked Jesus. How human! How just like us all!
We all wish to love, for love (and seriousness) is indeed one and only one thing. When anyone loves, they have made a commitment.
But it is much easier to live in the realm of possibility. It is easier for a man to dream of the way he will spend of his money than to actually part with the cash. It is easier to think about helping starving people than to feed the starving. It is easier to envision oneself fighting a nation's enemies abroad than it is to enlist in the military.
In a way, Jesus asks everyone the same question smitty asked. But he looks for the reply not so much in words as he does in the way a person chooses to live.
After Peter professed his regard for his master, Jesus commanded him to feed his sheep. The choice entailed an action. Certainly the action and the choice were not the same thing. Not everyone who feeds the poor has understood love. And some people truly cary a love for Christ, but it is so buried inside them that it never surfaces into their actions.
Yet, in the life of the devoted, the love and the response are intimately united. The love we have for Christ demands that we love our neighbor, that we love the lowest sinners (whether they are others or ourselves). And this is the very thing men dread when choosing between loving and liking.
An Actual Self
The question about the difference between loving and liking is like the question about the difference between actuality and possibility.
A man who likes a woman entertains a possibility, while a man who loves a woman has something very actual. Even if the woman rejects him all her life he has a very real thing: his love for her.
Of course, our choices say a lot about who we are as well.
If a man lives for the 'chance' things in life, the possibilities, making them his only thought rising out of bed and going to sleep, and waiting for them to give him validity in life, then, in a spiritual sense, the man's life is a possibility. And if his life is a possibility he is not yet alive.
If a man lives for something actual, that is to say, if he actually knows what is important to him and actually seeks to pursue it, then, in a spiritual sense, that man's life is an actuality. And if his life is an actuality he is truly alive.
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