Found By Jesus

Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.
They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"

They have taken my Lord away," She said, "and I don't know where they have put him." At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

"Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

Jesus said to her, "Mary."

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).
Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "

Mary magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her.

John 20:10-18

After the disciples had returned home, Mary remained at the tomb, crying.

Perhaps the other disciples had also wept and felt the full measure of grief. Perhaps they had all accepted Christ's death and moved on -each at the same time.

But Mary remained at the tomb, crying.

What must have that been like?

I suppose Mary may have thought there was something wrong with her. Something that prevented her from being like the other disciples. Something that prevented her from being ... normal.

And so, Mary remained behind ... alone ...

It was true and clear that something strange and wonderful was at work in the life and ministry of that man. Now the man was somewhere else. Who was this person left behind weeping ... ?

Surely not something grand or marvelous, like the food at a banquet. Maybe more like the food at a banquet saved until the next day ... like the left overs ... a forgotten dish that was simply there.

Whatever the disciples hoped to find by going home, Mary did not desire, or at least did not pursue it.

And when, in her grief, her eyes fell upon the face of angels, she could find no consolation in their heavenly appearance.

We are told the angels were sitting down, gazing while Mary was crying. They watched ... though they did not weep. When they spoke, did they address Mary or their own confusion,

Woman, why are you crying?

The angels -the ones who worship and obey God- have a singular way about them. Their path is one of rejoicing, and they do not know any other way.

Perhaps in that moment, Mary saw them sitting, calmly, and wished that she could be an angel also, perhaps wishing that her body and her spirit could be lifted into the glory of the heavens.

But Mary was separated from her Jesus, and her spirit knew only grief.

If the disciples had seen angels, perhaps if we had seen angels, we would become excited and say, "Look! Do you see them?!" And our minds would ask questions like, "Do we have proof?" And, "What was their appearance like?" And a hundred other such places.

But Mary remained in her place, which was her sorrow.

"They have taken my Lord away," She said, "and I don't know where they have put him."

How quickly we cast aside Mary's concerns here. We consider her cares nothing because we (today) know that Jesus was not so very far from her.

Perhaps some people have even dared to laugh at Mary in her sorrow. If only she had known ... as though knowledge, the true consolation, will give us peace in our time of distress.

We think we know many things ... and that this makes us somehow better than Mary. Even if, like Mary in this passage, we do not know the day or the hour when we will see Jesus with our own eyes.

In many ways, Mary here has a knowledge of Jesus that we will not have in this life. She knows the color of his hair. How tall he stands. How deep his voice is. How he usually dresses. Now all she needs to know is what place his body is in.

Or does she need to know something else?

When Mary speaks to Jesus she does not recognize him. She sees a man who, like the angels, observes the depth of her grief, but understands it not. He asks her why she cries.

Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.

Mary is looking for someone of a certain height, with a certain color of hair, a certain style of clothing. Perhaps she is so focused on finding such a person -the person she knows with her mind- that she fails to notice the person she already knows in her spirit.

Jesus said to her, "Mary."

In that moment where she is alone, she hears the Son of God address her alone.

The Mary who truly sees and recognizes Jesus has come back to life. She is awakened again. As his words extend out of the heavens and land specifically on Mary and Mary alone, she realizes again who Jesus is.

Mary is able to see Jesus, the Jesus who was there all along.

For many of us, we may have a sense that Jesus is close to us, and truly he is! He is standing right outside the door of our lives. He is close, indeed!

When Jesus knocks on the door of our hearts, our befuddled human minds do not know what to do or how to recognize him. On our own we are confused, distressed, and of a sorrow that neither the angels in heaven nor Christ himself understands.

In the same way that Mary could not recognize Jesus by looking at him, flesh and blood cannot reveal Jesus to us. All of our historical knowledge about the Son of God will only serve to keep him at arms' length, however close he may be.

After Jesus asks Mary who it is she is looking for, he reveals himself to her. Jesus already knows who Mary is looking for, but he wants Mary to be perfectly clear with herself who it is she is looking for. In the same way, Jesus wants to know who it is we are really looking for.

Jesus gives Mary clear instruction about how he is leaving her ... and indeed how he is leaving every one of his disciples. He is leaving to return to his Father and her Father ... to the Father of everyone who knows Jesus.

This is the wonder of discovering Jesus ... to know Jesus' Father as his own Father, to know the Father as her own Father.

The day is coming when all who are in Christ will see Christ with their own eyes. Until that day, Christ is teaching people to see him without their eyes. After that he will lead them and take them back to be with his Father and their Father.