A Dark Face

Then Adam had sexual intercourse with Eve his wife, and she conceived and gave birth to a son, Cain (meaning "I have created"). For, as she said, "With God's help, I have created a man!" Her next child was his brother, Abel.

Abel became a shepherd, while Cain was a farmer. At harvest time Cain brought the Lord a gift of his farm produce, and Abel brought the fatty cuts of meat from his best lambs, and presented them to the Lord. And the Lord acccepted Abel's offering, but not Cain's. This made Cain both dejected and very angry, and his face grew dark with fury.

"Why are you angry?" the Lord asked him. "Why is your face so dark with rage? It can be bright with joy if you will do what you should! But if you refuse to obey, watch out! Sin is waiting to attack you, longing to destroy you. But you can conquer it!"

One day Cain suggested to his brother, "Let's go out into the fields." And while they were together there, Cain attacked and killed his brother.

But afterwards the Lord asked Cain, "Where is your brother? Where is Abel?"

"How should I know?" Cain retorted. "Am I supposed to keep track of him wherever he goes?"

But the Lord said, "Your brother's blood calls to me from the ground. What have you done? You are hereby banished from this ground which you have defiled with your brother's blood. No longer will it yield crops for you, even if you toil on it forever! From now on you will be a fugitive and a tramp upon the earth, wandering from place to place."
Genesis 4:1-12 The Living Bible

People often draw attention to the sacrfice of others - or the lack thereof.

For example: "That car pulled out ahead of me and slowed me down. Couldn't he have sacrificed a few seconds so I wouldn't have been inconvenienced?"

Presumably the one who does not sacrifice is a selfish person and therefore a bad person.

... But Cain gave a gift of his fruits to the Lord.


Here is the puzzling aspect of the matter: nearly everyone sacrifices. Almost everyone has -at one moment or another- given up something good for what they considered to be something greater.

But is every offering pleasing to the Lord?


Consider Abel's sacrifice. The writer of Hebrews tells us:

By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.
Hebrews 11:4 NIV

These two men willingly separated themselves from their gifts to God. There is no indication that anyone twisted their arms. Two gifts were given to God, but only one was pleasing to Him.

By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice.

The writer of Hebrews focuses not on what kind of thing these brothers did. The emphasis is placed squarely on the way they did that thing.

Abel sacrificed in a way that was pleasing to God. Cain sacrificed in a way that God did not accept.

Consider the case where two small daughters find two pennies on the ground. Their father notices and says to them, "I see you have found some money that belongs to me. Give them back to me."

Suppose the first girl says, "This money is yours to do with as you please. I am glad to return it to you." And the second girl says, "If this is the way you treat your own daughter, I do not want anything to do with your money. Take it back!".

Is it not clear that the two daughters are completely different people? The one daughter acts in a way that is pleasing to her father and the other daughter does not.

Yet, in such a case they both return the money.

In a procedural, clinical way of looking at God's response it is easy to be confused. Cain gave God the gift of his fruits. Check. He did exactly the same thing Abel did -on the outside.

The difference was in a place where no procedure could inspect or even comment ... the difference was in Cain's spirit, and it was Cain's spirit that God called into question.

Cain was going through the motions of his relationship with God. There was no Cain expressing his love before God. The love which Cain had toward God was locked far, far away in his heart. The farther away it went, the darker his face became.


God confronts Cain and says:

"Why is your face so dark with rage? It can be bright with joy if you will do what you should! But if you refuse to obey, watch out! Sin is waiting to attack you, longing to destroy you. But you can conquer it!"

What does it mean to be destroyed? The Bible says that after death we will be brought back to life again. We shall all continue in heaven or hell forever. So in what sense can someone be destroyed? Isn't Abel's life the one in danger?

And yet God tells Cain that sin is longing to destroy him.

The Apostle Paul once noted that if he gave all he possessed to the poor and surrendered his body to the flames -but did not have love- he would gain nothing. What is to be gained? He tells us in the earlier verse that if he has not love, he is nothing.

What does it mean to be nothing? For someone to be nothing? What does it mean to have no self?

Was Cain angry because God disapproved of his sacrifice? Or was it the case that Cain was angry because he sensed that he was beginning to lose his self? What can all the justifications and explanations amount to at the expense of losing one's self?


Very often a person will spend all their time trying to justify their behavior. Very few people hunger and thirst for living the life which needs no explanation.

When God confronts Cain again, Cain has a ready justification. In an attempt at shrewdness he replies that he cannot possibly be expected to track Abel everywhere he goes.

As human beings we are inclined to doubt anyone's behavior if they do not have a reason. And if they do have a justification for their actions we can accept it.

But love needs no explanation, no defense, no justification.

One time at work, a colleague said to me, "The law is meant to be practical and not to be fair." I took up the issue because I felt he was looking for an excuse to behave in an unjust way.

When I asked for an example he told me in anger, 'Do you think it is fair for you to have your beautiful wife?'

Although much could be said of the way desperate questions alienate us from ourselves -and the ways in which we have all been just like that wicked coworker- I will note instead that worldly legality has no knowledge of love's great happiness.

I gave him no defense in return. When I could not decide for myself why I had not I realized for myself that when two people truly love each other there is nothing left to be accounted.

All honest accounting, in truth, depends on the happiness of true love and not the other way around. Explanations, defenses, justifications are lacking and very much in need of love.

God told Cain earlier that if he had acted obediently, Cain's face could, "be bright with joy if you will do what you should!"

This is the facial expression which God does not concern Himself with confronting. Instead, Cain's disobedience lead to a darkened facial expression ... a facial expression which demanded to justify itself but never really could.


May we never be fooled (or fool ourselves) into thinking that our external acts of service to God are any substitute for true love and devotion.

May we never behave in such a way that we do not agree with.

May we seek to live in a way that needs no justification, and not in a way that constantly searches for justifications.

Amen!

My Point of View as a Blogger

As of May 19th the Lord has allowed this website to continue for one year.

I began writing this blog during the trying times of studying Computer Science at USC (via the distance program). At the time I was afraid of getting caught up in the demands of my studies. For a while I feared compiler design was going to take over my whole life - my relationship with God, my relationship with my wife, my relationship with my family.

It was then that I reflected on the image of the burning bush and considered how it was consumed but not destroyed.

During the early part of 2006 I was posting a lot on Mere Orthodoxy, and the site creator, Matt Anderson, had suggested I take up blogging. The idea seemed ridiculous to me at first. Before then I was ministering in my own way, but after starting school I lost the time I needed to do it in the way I was doing it.

I liked Mere Orthodoxy. The title was clearly a creation of two books: Lewis' Mere Christianity and Chesterton's Orthodoxy.

As I have mentioned before I don't care for Lewis' style (at least in his non-fiction). Chesterton has a truly poetic expression. His message is essentially identical to Lewis: Jesus came to share ideas with us so that we could understand God through education, literature, and, most importantly, philosophy.

After a great deal of exposure to these two writers (and comparing them to the Bible) I found them too cerebral. I stopped reading them and began reading the Bible.

I understand where Mere Orthodoxy gets its name, but the name troubles me. Orthodoxy alone is just not enough for me. Doctrine did not die on the cross for my sins. If God should find it in His good pleasure to allow me into heaven, doctrine will not be the first thing I go running to find. Ultimately, I do not believe orthodoxy is the first thing God wants to find in me either.

The royal command is to love God with all one's heart, with all one's soul, with all one's mind, and with all one's strength. The requirement is to love, not to indoctrinate or to have all the orthodox views.

In truth, I believe that if one genuinely loves God and is fully devoted to Him, the doctrine will come on its own.

One of my Bible school professors was a man by the name of Dr. Fred Sanders. I think he caught wind of the competing names, "Mere Orthodoxy" and "Mere Devotion", and he attempted to mediate somewhat the difference between the two saying that both orthodoxy and devotion are required.

In my response I pointed out the way the unclean angels like to debate doctrine and cling on to it as a way of justifying their dark activities. (In the example I used from the book of Acts it was fairly difficult to see why the demons were proclaiming doctrine, but they were proclaiming doctrine).

Dr. Sanders had some concern with this blog (I say this as a way of boasting in my weakness). He had perhaps thought I could write somewhat but was concerned because, 'Devotional writers are typically unremembered and not taken seriously by theologians'. This is perhaps why he suggested we needed to be orthodox and devoted.

His words have been -perhaps prophetically- true for me at this website.

Clearly there is no army of readers waiting to read this post. At times the number of comments I have received from others on a single post has approached the double digits, but usually only SocietyVs responds and, in the past, SoulFoodDude.

I do, however, have another who reads my posts. I say to myself, "Ah! If only He would read my work. If only it would be acceptable to Him!"

Consider the shepherd boy, David. The world does not care much for nor long remember shepherd boys, but God had a plan for David. He wrote most of the Psalms, and the Psalms are the most referenced Old Testament book in the New Testament.

From what little I can gather David's Psalm-writing did not start out to be noticed by theologians. And the herds listening to him were not enough. Ultimately, he wasn't after Jesse's love or the acceptance of his brothers, and he couldn't find the right audience even before Saul, the king.

If David had studied at the greatest places of learning, perhaps Oxford, if he had the greatest professors at home and abroad, if he had found a champion of a wife, if he had an interesting job he could boast in, he would not have found his peace in any of those things.

I will go on boasting in the corrections and criticisms I have received.

At one point a certain blogger, SuperDuper, a man who I understand has stopped going to church and has led his family astray on this matter, suggested that Jesus did not want any attention for himself. SuperDuper also suggested only the Father was worthy of worship.

I relayed a question to him from the Lord, "What do the Scriptures say?" And I pointed him toward a few places in the Bible.

SuperDuper was totally offended. He claimed it was too "Sunday school" to go looking toward revelation for answers. I assume he was saying that only little children take the Bible as a suffecient guide for their lives.

Then may I never be considered to be anything more than a little child!

Perhaps the best aspect of the this blog has been the forum it created for me to consider how the Lord has been speaking to me. While writing some of these posts my heart has changed in several ways about certain things, and -as far as I can recall- these changes have been for the better.

I do consider the people who read this blog and sometimes post against what I see as systematic substitutes for mere devotion in the world, but ... I often find I am the one who needs to change, to repent.

In summary I am glad to see the direction this blog has taken. I am very glad for having it. It has been criticized and overlooked, but the criticism and neglect have become something of a blessing for me. I am grateful for those who have been blessed by it.

Quality of Life

I have strong views on a certain topic which has entered the political domain: abortion.

My interest here is not in debating the issue. My concern is in overcoming the deceitfulness of public opinion in order to understand how to live a devoted life.

Although I believe there is room for parents to discuss before God cases where a mother's life is at stake, I am convinced that the vast majority of abortions are murder.

Just as the serpent presented Eve with a number of confusing facts to consider before she made a choice she would greatly regret, the world presents mothers with information that entices many but is detestable to God. Eve had a desire to obey her Lord and her husband, Adam, but in the moment of temptation she forgot what mattered the most to her. In the same way women are naturally inclined to love and nurture their children ... but the world always has a different plan.

Learning to see through the deceit of the world is an important responsibility which heaven gives to every pregnant woman -and also to each of us. The difficulty lies not in recognizing how one ought to live, but in making this method one's own.

Here are some aspects of the issue to consider:

1) Despair does not justify wrong-doing; despair is the essence of wrong doing, and it confirms that there was a wrong doing.

To me it is clear that killing an infant because a person "needed" to pursue a career, relationship, or education is a desperate act. It is precisely the element of despair that makes it murderous.

In the case of an accidental death it is very different.

Sadly some couples accidentally have a part in their infants' deaths -perhaps the baby is left with a toy and suffocates. As far as I am concerned, the parents are not murderers because they (presumably) did not leave the toy with the infant in a desperate attempt of some sort.

The element of desperation is the essential factor in all crime and all sin. To explain the act by referring to one's despair is to confess to one's true guilt.

2) No environment can give anyone meaning in life.

Ungodly men have supposed that if a child is to grow up in an environment where they are unloved they are better off removed from the world in their infancy. They foolishly suppose that -if an unwanted child were brought into the world- they would lead a life of crime and unrest.

Such folly is exposed by Christ's assertion: "It is not what goes into a man that makes him unclean."

Everyone -let me repeat it again- everyone has a choice about how they are going to live their lives. To quote the athiest philosopher, Jean Paul Sartre, "Man is condemned to be free." If a person chooses evil -as we all have in one sense or another- they are made ineligible to fault their circumstances.

The world is always in the business of explaining its actions away, but the obedient life has no need of justifications.

3) Quality in life comes from love and not from external circumstances.

Suppose a single mother decides to abort her unborn child. Suppose she says to herself, "Now I can find meaning in life because I will have a career or more money to spend elsewhere or time to spend with my friends...". Would such a woman have more quality in life?

Now suppose this woman is prevented from getting a better career or education (which often turns out to be the case because desperate acts tend to lead to more desperate acts). Would the possibility of having a better education or career give a person more quality in life if they had to murder their own unborn son or daughter?

If a person chooses to find their meaning in life through their career or reputation or money, at what point does their life become meaningful? How many friends do they have to have? How much money do they have to make? And is their life worth living before they gain such things?

Measuring the value of one's life in terms of one's external accomplishments and possessions is unlawful in the sight of heaven. The fact that we all do this does nothing to excuse this fact.

The world continually preaches that people should live in a way they can boast about. This is another way of saying that a person's life should first have meaning in the eyes of other people. The result is always, always that the one who lives for the world's approval fails to find approval before God or even their own approval.

Love is the only way one may find quality in life. Paul wrote that if he had the gift of prophecy and could fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if he had a faith that could move mountains -but he had not love- he would be nothing.

God does not stop loving us when we make choices that are pleasing to Him. In the same way, He does not withold from us the responsibility of loving our neighbor when an easier life is at stake.

I hope I have made my own views on the matter clear. Again, the important part is avoiding desperation by living a life of faith. This is a task for all of us, not only would-be mothers.

The Days of Noah

No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, 'My master is staying away a long time,' and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Matthew 24:36-51

Before I comment on the passage I thought I would say a word or two about how it ended up in this post.

Often when I read the Bible on my own I pick the first passage I see when I open the Bible. In my way of thinking, such a passage is not necessarily a random selection if you take my meaning. And -if it were- it would be no loss because I believe the entire Bible is edifying and God-breathed.

In addition to this passage I have been reading a lot of passages lately about being prepared for the Christ's return. Namely this chapter and Peter's letters. Also, there has been discussion on the internet to this effect ... even in places where one would not expect to see it. I believe it is also worth mentioning that my wife has been asking me lately if I believed Christ would return soon.

I do believe he will be here soon.

Do I know if that means he will be here in a year, a week, or perhaps today? No, I don't have any idea. The Bible says it will be soon. Even if Christ does not return today, I feel strongly that God is telling me to be prepared today.

Here is what stands out to me about the passage:

I hear people say of this passage: "It was evil back in Noah's day, and it is evil in our day, so Christ may return soon."

That is very true, inasmuch as the Church can know of God's timing.

I do feel, however, that there may be a misunderstanding in the way one understands the evil people were practicing back then. Jesus tells us, "... people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage ... ". These common acts do not necessarily seem wicked.

Were these people caught up in the routines of their day to day lives? Very often I wonder to myself whether or not I am trying to live out a great, big schedule.

I do this ... then I do that ... then I do this ...

The common activities are eating and drinking, and generally people consider how to relate to the opposite sex and the latest news about how others relate to the opposite sex.

The aspect which is often overlooked is simply this: everything could come to a stop at any time. Even during the most common and domestic of tasks, the ordinariness of the world -what some men find assurance in- will come to an abrupt halt. Two men will be in a field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding in a mill, one will be taken and the other left.

"So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."

I suspect Jesus may be decrying the "routineness" people live by more than the usual acts everyone already knows to be evil. 'Of course so-and-so will marry, everyone does'. 'Of course I will go to work at such-and-such and wake up at such-and-such a time'.

But there is always that possibility that our plans will be ... interrupted. And God may intervene at any time.

There is equally the possibility that at any moment one may give one's life back to the one who originated it. To hand over one's life to God does not happen in the same routine way that we live our lives (which perhaps says something of the intent in our routines).

Imagine a wife who plans an anniversary dinner. As long as she declines to explain the dinner she is in the clear, but if she says, "Well, the dinner was on the schedule..." And if truly that is all that is keeping her at the table she has completely overlooked the love she has for her husband.

In the same way, God has required His people to love Him with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strengths. To live, breath, and die by the schedule is to overlook this requirement -a requirement of love.


Jesus compares his disciples who wait for Him to a servant who obediently uses his authority. This is contrasted with the words, "But suppose that servant is wicked...". Jesus presents both behaviors as possibilities - one of which we as individuals must select.

The wicked servant - the one who thinks his master has been away a long time - is deceived by his probabilistic, speculative thinking. He thinks he will be able to live out an entire, wicked life without getting caught because his master has been away for a long time.

But, as with all probability, there is that nagging possibility of the unexpected happening.

And there is also the knowledge which one does not need to speculate over: one's disobedience. The external consequences of one's choices may be unclear to the individual in the moment he commits them, but the value of his choices are clear to him. In a sense, one could say he was condemned even before his master returned.

This is the difference between the happy certainty of being prepared and the unhappy certainty of wickedness.


I hope this provides adequate material to consider during the many day-to-day activities. There are many events in life which may seem mundane, but one can find fulfillment in the most common activity if he or she can recognize how they are loved and the quality of the devotion they long to return that love with.

I am convinced a man can find great happiness in life even if devotion is all he possesses. To this extent I believe Christ calls us to be ready -that we may fully belong to him when he returns.



[Picture taken from here.]